Sushi and the Ultimate Abandonment and Magnets

Playing with my six and a half year old great nephew this afternoon.

Making sushi with his grandma....

he is an old hand at it...this is the mat that I gave Robin many years ago...like him, our great nephew loves sushi....has done since he was very little....which impresses me greatly.

He tells me he likes 

pickled ginger 

and soy sauce

but not wasabi...

which was Robin's favourite part.

I remembered this special birthday lunch for my sister where Robin made sushi 

in June 2009.

 I also remembered that the last time he tried to make them he couldn't work out the order of the fillings and how to roll them up....and was confused and frustrated.....heart breaking to witness.

I'm glad I kept his roll-up mat though and could pass it on to our great nephew today.... and create new and happier memories of sushi making.

Day 11 is about  Feeling Good and Releasing Anger.

Our feelings are just thoughts in action. Swallowing them down instead of expressing them can hurt us.

The idea is that releasing anger towards another person or ourselves makes room inside us for loving feelings instead.

The mirror exercise is to choose someone you are angry with and talk to them in the mirror.

I'm angry at you because.....

I'm hurt because you did...

I'm so afraid because you....

I found this very confronting .....I've never been able to really express my anger/resentment/frustration cleanly ....and I hate bashing cushions.

But what came out of it for me, underneath the anger, was my huge underlying fear of being rejected and abandoned.

Nothing at all to do with what I think the other person has done. It's always been there as long as I can remember and like a magnet I attract rejection and abandonment ...to prove I'm right...or something like that.

Robin dying feels like the ultimate abandonment.....

 which is the next thing for me to untangle.... and to forgive.

This is the affirmation suggested - 

I release the pattern in my consciousness  that is creating resistance to my good.

I deserve to feel good.

My great-nephew's magnets. The power locked inside them....their inability to stay separated... like attracting like....is like watching a magic trick.. 

You can't separate love from itself. Because Love is everything.