Mothers and Being Trusting Flexible Resourceful

Sunday evening sky - Mothers' day. .....for all the wonderful mothers I know who thought they didn't do a good enough job......who think they aren't doing a good enough job.  

You did your best.  You are doing your best.

 You are amazing.  More amazing than you'll ever know. Thank you.

This morning in a really helpful coaching session I uncover my overall motivator in everything I do.

I want to feel safe so I try and create structures and design in my environment to keep anxiety at bay. This includes trying to control and contain Robin. Hopeless task. It also fails when things go wrong and my arrangements fall apart/ change and I feel let down and frustrated and resentful. Like this morning when the neuro -physiotherapist didn't turn up and I had to keep Robin going for another 2 hours before his not-walking group.

My lovely coach suggests an alternative using surfing as an analogy - being open to finding the perfect wave but testing out any that come along just for fun. And we come up with an alternative motivator for me instead of searching for safety - being trusting, flexible and resourceful.

I have the perfect opportunity to try it out when I get home. I'm just having a quick lunch on the wing, a salty mackerel fillet and stick of celery,  before my doctor's appointment when I hear the key in the door and Robin comes in. Two hours early from his not-walking group.

At this point I am a million miles away from being trusting flexible or resourceful. I say I have to go out in two minutes, throw some biscuits on a plate, stick a straw in a mug of mango juice, undo his braces and pull off his jumper so he can have a rest and slam out of the house.

Luckily I have another opportunity later. When he wakes up from his rest I say I'm not available to go   out for a drive and anyway I'm expecting a phone call and I've got lots to do and could he find something else to do. He had mentioned going for a walk earlier. I suggest it even though it's blowing a gusty gale outside. He agrees. I tie on his shoes, zip up his coat and off he goes.  

Trusting flexible and resourceful or what?  Good enough anyway. Thank you, coach.