63 This Birthday

This morning Robin opens his presents and cards with a glass of breakfast - a strawberry smoothie. Oh no I forgot  - I opened the cards and presents for him because he can't use his hands easily.

I took the cake - coffee and walnut -  to The Mede so he could share it with his friends there.

He said he had a lovely day.

I discuss arrangements with his two lovely carers about the possibility of him staying a night there in a few weeks time. To give me some respite.  Like a birthday present for me.

This evening we drive back to Topsham to have supper in a pub by the river. Robin says he only wants something small and he prefers vegetarian food now.  I choose potato skins with Blue Vinney cheese and mushrooms for him. When the food arrives it's too hard for him to cut up or get on his fork so I lean across my own plate of hoki and chips and feed him discreet mouthfuls. I allow him a coke as it's his birthday.

I've just read my blog archives on his birthday  - 31st March  - for the last few years. On this day last year he was still driving. No sign of any muscle weakness in his arms. No braces or slurred words. No thought of stairlifts or respite.

Not an inkling of my world  - and his -  turned upside down again . Not by dementia this time. I'd never heard of Multi Focal Motor Neuropathy with Conduction Block a year ago. Now it seems there is nothing else.  And nothing else to do but make the next phone call, the next appointment, the next meal.

And keep loving him - and me - whatever is left of us. Whatever there is to come.