Fire and Ice

Saturday morning fog shrouding 

the sun at first

then clearing to light up 

the frosty world 

of my woodland winter garden and its

 hungry wildlife, 

staining the sky rose pink and  pale gold at the end of the day.

Sunday

 I wake to more sparkling frost outlining the swimming pool,

and highlighting the fat coiled springs which keep the green cover taut across the green, mossy water below it.

The sky is a faultless outback blue, its occupant a gift of song and flashing redbreast.

 This nuthatch is a streamlined streak of peach and metallic blue darting in and out of the feeding station all morning.

Later I leave my garden thawing out in the sun for another garden,

my sister's recently acquired vegetable garden which needs clearing of the old before the new can be raised.

As I prune back the row of straggling raspberry canes the heat from the huge bonfire, built  by my nephew, scorches my legs and I think about the giant swathes of fire destroying lives and the land and the animals and the homes of Australia...

and how, if you let it, the flames, the smoke, the heat of anger

and blame and judgement, can destroy the 

hearts and spirits of those you love the most. And your own.

The sky outside my window is on fire this morning, the tiny chip of the moon still bright.

I can see the  fishing lake on fire beyond the plane tree -  a burnished bronze cauldron,

quickly fading to glassy blue revealing  the white bloom of crystal ice resting on the grass.. 

light as a layer of ash. 

And I let the flames of the fire I have been stoking inside myself abate too, and let myself  ponder on Matt Kahn's words that I read late last night...

Judgement is: whoever you blame in any moment.

Intuition is: clearly seeing how this moment is helpful for the evolution of self and for the sum of the whole.

Any attempt to stop judging only judges "the inner judge".

Any time the inner judge feels judged, its patterning is strengthened instead of integrated.

And yet patterns of judgement can be resolved simply by paying more attention to your intuition versus getting entangled in judgement - whether to others, the past or yourself.

If unsure about what your intuition is saying just ask yourself,

" How is this moment inviting me to evolve?

What old comfort zone is it liberating me from?

Which weakness is this moment helping me strengthen?

The answers are always within you.

It's simply a matter of giving yourself enough time to tune in, receive the wisdom, and swiftly act on it with faith, humility and compassion for all.

He makes it sound simple but I'm finding the practice of it almost impossible...

especially the humility bit...

Tonight I don't want to think at all and make a new dish...following a recipe recommended by a dear friend.

It's Anna Jones's  vegetarian Squash and Poppy Seed Toad in the Hole.

I adapted it of course - halved the quantities, used sesame seeds instead of poppy, made it dairy free, and drizzled a fresh coriander chutney sauce over it instead of her ale and mustard gravy - which sounds nice too but not with this.

It was a perfect supper, with lots of steamed purple sprouting broccoli on the side for a cold winter's evening.....letting all the emotional fire and ice settle in my body .....letting  my intuition have a chance.