Two Moments and The Invitation

Lost for words tonight...... so just 2 moments and a poem.

First moment

A dear friend sits with me in my kitchen.

We are looking at my left thumb. It hurts all the time now. It's swollen.

I say I think it's arthritis.

She says yes.

And I can't avoid the ontologicals any more.

 Inflammation in the body equals anger unexpressed.

Damn.

Second moment.

A young man is peering into my loft space.

He is measuring the roof for PV panels.

I can tell he is very sweet natured. He reminds me of my youngest nephew.

I'm feeling very tired and unsettled...was trying and failing to sort out Robin's Face book account just before he came.

I tell the young man about it...he has no experience of death of a spouse but he's so serious and open hearted it makes me want to cry.

  I read this poem by Mary Oliver on Suzi Crockford's blog recently and wanted to put it on mine because I love it. And a goldfinch came to the bird feeder this afternoon.

  THE INVITATION

Oh do you have time
to linger
for just a little while
out of your busy

and very important day
for the goldfinches
that have gathered
in a field of thistles

for a musical battle,
to see who can sing
the highest note,
or the lowest,

or the most expressive of mirth,
or the most tender?
Their strong, blunt beaks
drink the air

as they strive
melodiously
not for your sake
and not for mine

and not for the sake of winning
but for sheer delight and gratitude –
believe us, they say,
it is a serious thing

just to be alive
on this fresh morning
in the broken world.
I beg of you,

do not walk by
without pausing
to attend to this
rather ridiculous performance.

It could mean something.
It could mean everything.
It could be what Rilke meant, when he wrote:
You must change your life.

Mary Oliver, “Invitation,” A Thousand Mornings (New York: Penguin Books, 2013