Cooking out the pain...

This great tit looks too fat. I hope he hasn't got the same parasitic disease as the finches.

I hope I've been keeping the feeders clean enough....

The hill feels extra steep this morning.

 After shopping for veggies in the farmers' market it's lovely to sit in cafe with two dear women and laugh about my fruit bowl basin...and share our kitchen and bathroom renovation stories over the years. 

My lovely cranio-sacral therapist asks me how I am. I don't know what to say...so we leave it to my body...almost as soon as she lays hands on my back, my solar plexus, I drop into a sleep - brief, shallow. Feeling safe enough to let go which oddly enough I don't at home...I often wake with a tense clenched jaw and fists....my nervous system still switched on to flight and flight mode in sleep.

Tonight I make a batch of fish cakes -  salmon and pea. I'll cook them tomorrow for supper for my great-nephew and brother-in- law. I also whizz up some spicy Thai fish cakes with haddock and will make tartare sauce and a dipping sauce for them and also the beetroot and walnut burgers for the vegetarians. 

Cooking out the pain that I can't ease in my loved ones....