I stop to watch the early morning ablutions of this gorgeous graceful swan on the river Exe...I'm walking back through the town after leaving my car at the garage for its MOT and annual service.
Such a versatile neck.
I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything I need to do in the two months before I move. I open kitchen cabinets of cups and saucers or bedroom cupboards of my history and panic. Or I pull out an office drawer full of Robin and I'm lost.
But today my dear sister comes over with a bag of green salad leaves from her garden and a magic file of lists and practical stuff and we make a plan. So I can put my panic and my loss on paper and make space in my head to let the leaving begin.
We make a map of the rooms I will inhabit ....imagining my cupboards and drawers in another house. But not all of them because they won't fit. Letting go of my furniture is easier than imagining my home without a room in it for Robin....without him beside me.
While I'm still here in our house he's still here in every corner.
I know he's always with me in one sense but I haven't yet learned how to manage without his physical presence lighting up every corner of my life.
Not something I can make a plan for.
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