Speak to your children.... What if I spoke to myself like that?

The first pale pink Camellia blossom this week...

and wonderful to see how many daffodils are going to come out on the far bank of the stream. Most of them still in closed bud. Maybe they are late because we are in Mid Devon -  I noticed some of the daffodils growing along the sides of the roads are already over in East Devon. But actually it is still early in the year for spring bulbs....or maybe I'm wrong.

Morning ...

the  view from my yoga mat in the mornings....from the south window. 

I call it Three Tree Hill - even though there are more trees - three seem to stand out. Even when the houses are built in the field in the foreground - don't know when but its going to happen - I'll still be able to see them - I hope.

A rare siting of the black cap today...

telling the blue tit above him 

to bugger off in no uncertain terms.

The blue tit didn't seem particularly intimidated..

but it flew off anyway 

to guzzle on  peanuts..

and the robin swooped to to take his place.

I've been doing my best today  - including taking a long time to write a complicated, needing-to-concentrate  email...stopping at frequent intervals to have snacks of oatcakes and tahini sprinkled with sea salt, and cups of Earl Grey tea. 

Instead of berating myself for procrastinating, not GETTING ON with it,  I just repeated to myself that this was my best effort today in this moment and it really helped - now I understand that you can't be doing your best and judging yourself at the same time.

Like you can't be grateful and depressed at the same time.

I've found some vegan "butter"- a block of fat made with organic coconut, shea, rapeseed and almond oil, just called The Block, made by Naturli. It looks like a block of margarine - a bit pale and wan but thankfully it doesn't taste like marge.

I tried using it in these date and almond and pecan cookies. A recipe I made up. It would have worked if I'd cooked them a bit longer. These were a bit raw in the middle.

But I bet the Block would make good pastry.

On the other hand I won't bother  again with the Vegan "cheese" I grated onto my spaghetti tonight -  seriously unpleasant texture when melted and tasteless.

I read these words posted  from a dear friend today.

And I thought that I missed the chance to do that, to talk to the children we didn't have with  such wisdom and love.

But then I thought what if I spoke to myself like that?

What if I spoke to everyone like that?

What magic could we make in the world then? 

Believing in our beauty.