A freezing cold walk in late sunshine at Killerton House.
As it's late just photos tonight.... and a few words.
Going out to the car this morning with a jug of hot water to de-ice the car windscreen a neighbour asks me how I am, and then she says,
How's Robin?
I feel bad that she doesn't know ....usually the grapevine works.
A dear friend comes for coffee. Her first husband also died after their 32 years of marriage. And she is younger than me. Talking to her is like a long warm gentle hug. She understands everything. Judges nothing. And we laugh too.
After my session with lovely cranio-sacral therapist I feel less scattered and emotionally flayed.
She explains how shock and trauma can un-ground you, make your legs give way, make you fall to the floor, take your breath away...and paralyse those deep and fearful places inside, lock them away even further.
Explains why I'm constantly wobbly, cut off from the earth, alternately numb and weepy. And why I want to lie down all the time....even though I don't. At least if I have something at my back, to lean against, I won't fall over...fall into that abyss.
No comments:
Post a Comment