In someone's garden - on the way to the park.
This morning I walk into town, leave the car to be cleaned on the way. Planning to buy ground almonds and linseeds and go to the library. I discover the sales are on. And suddenly realise I don't have to get back..... no one waiting for me.....no-one coming at a certain time.....I'm not visiting Robin till this evening. So I browse with a kind of intense leisure, and spend too much money on jumpers and forget to buy the almonds.
Later, I rally the troops for my hard conversation with Robin......professional ( hospice nurse) and .....moral ( sister) and make an appointment at Lucerne House for Thursday afternoon. And I rally my thoughts and feelings....after lots of support about tough love.... and ring fence my grief till it's over.
This evening Robin is having his supper downstairs in the dining room when I arrive. Soup.I will feed him caramel mousse later in his room. I suggest a push around in the wheelchair as it's getting dark and the traffic is rubbish. But he wants to go for a drive. So we hit Devon's winding lanes, Pavartotti's glorious voice blasting out of the open windows, accompanied by Robin's teeth grinding and my suppressed irritation. He is happy all the way.
How can I deny him that?
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