Autumn Leaves and I Don't Know How To Be Free

Recycling bins outside the back door this morning.

This lovely autumn glory is my view out of the back door when I'm washing up.

I think  a pair of blackbirds are already making nests in there....I have booked a gardener to chop it all back in  a few weeks.....hope I've done the right thing.

This afternoon, on the way to Honiton, we stop at  Joshua's Country Garden Stores. Not to buy anything but to give Robin a drink of smoothie.And while he's eating one of the Ferrero Rocher chocolates that he gave me for my birthday it gives me a chance to get out of the car and take some photos of autumn leaves and chestnuts in the grass - young shiny conkers in their white lined shells.....and the espaliered apple trees outside the store, red spotlight fruit, bright in the sunshine.

 Now I can gauge how long it takes Robin to chew and swallow a chocolate and be back in the car in time to give him another sip of juice.

This evening when the carers have just got him into bed he has a surprise visitor - the lovely woman who runs the Mede Centre that he used to go to on a Thursday.  He gives her a big smile from the pillow and says,

I know you.

And keeps smiling at her while we talk and then his eyes start to close.

Tonight I make myself proper supper. Two different salads -  one tomato based, one courgette based -with an Asian dressing -  grated ginger, chopped chill and garlic, pomegranate molasses, soya sauce and loads of fresh coriander to accompany roasted sweet potatoes and poached eggs.

I eat it in front of the TV watching TGBO. And remember to be thankful that I can watch it all the way thorough to the end without being called away to help Robin with something.

 It was 3 weeks ago today that it was his first night away from home. And my first night of freedom.

Physical freedom anyway...I don't know how to be free in my head yet....or in my heart.