Grumpy and Growly...at an Impasse....and Indian Saffron Risotto

I'm grumpy and growly and discombobulated today.

Very little sleep.

My mind a merry go round all night,

 re-drawing house plans in my head.

 I'm up early in time for the heating engineer,

who is late

 so I cancel a walk with neighbours.

I  drink tea all morning to keep warm as heating can't be on

and back door needs to be open to accommodate extension lead

while he works on pipes outside.

Drink tea and write emails to architect and Feng Shui consultant.

More emails back and forth,

walls and doors go up and come down,

on paper - 

 and is it in line with the beneficial energy?

And where should my desk be sited?

When my mind is tangled up

 and I know the rain is coming in on the wind very soon,

I walk out and up the hill

and follow the path across the fields

and back down the lane 

past the primary school 

where the children are running and shouting 

in the tarmac playground.

And the world keeps turning,

even when  mine 

is halted

at an impasse.

At home  I sink into more uncertainty, wait for email replies,

and walk the rooms and the perimeters of the house,

over and over 

trying to imagine the shower here or here,

the fridge freezer there or there ?

So in the end I distract myself

 and cook up a pot of Indian saffron risotto,

creamy with coconut, nubbly with whole spices - cumin and fennel, piquant with ginger,

 fragrant with curry leaves and coriander, fresh with green peas and asparagus tips.

I eat it later, hot and comforting in a deep bowl, with a poached egg plopped on top, while the wind swishes the rain against the sitting room windows and rattles the air vent in the wall.

But I'm glad tonight at least the walls are all where they were this morning.  

And who knows what inspiration might slip in tomorrow when I'm least expecting it.