First Anniversary..... Four Rituals

Robin's death day. First anniversary.

 Given how wobbly and sad I've been these last weeks and days and hours leading up to this date I thought it would be difficult to get through it without breaking down.

Instead, because I shared it with my sister and a dear friend, and we planned a Robin ritual, it's been full of love and remembering and laughing. 

First ritual. 

 We laid flowers and garden bouquets and pebbles

at his graveside.

No little robin redbreasts came to visit but instead we noticed

busy grey squirrels scampering  and foraging between the grave stones.

 I remembered that once long ago Robin and I attended a Shaman workshop and Robin's 'power animal' was a red squirrel. He always loved them.

Second ritual. 

We drove to another churchyard near Lucerne House where Robin lived for the last month of his life. On the Saturday before he died my sister and I walked there while we were waiting for the RAC to come and start the flat battery in my car and we discovered a huge Arbutus  - a strawberry tree  - dropping its crop of ripe berries on the ground.... which we foraged.

We always said we'd come back again....not knowing that would be Robin's death day.  

We collected 3 plastic tubs of the sweet soft fruits

and my sister has already

made them into jam.

Third Ritual

 At Budleigh Salterton where the estuary river meets the sea,

and we threw yellow and gold rose petals into the water.

Most of them sped off into the waves....

but  a few 

were stranded in 

the shallows....resting on the bed of pebbles.

My dear companions for the day.

We watched a black and white border collie

chasing the crows on the shoreline

but they didn't seem very intimidated.

Fourth Ritual

Lunch. Excellent. At the Vanilla Sky Cafe and Deli in Budleigh Salterton where we toasted Robin and the life he lived and loved....and how he would have smiled his big lopsided smile and said 

I love you all. Have a wonderful life.

Much later back home, while I was raking up the dead leaves under the apple tree, this sweet robin redbreast hopped onto the path in front of me....perched on the rim of a black plastic pot and stayed with me for a tiny moment...just long enough for me take his photo and to hear his message.

I'm never very far away. 

 I'll  always be with you.