Monday, 9 October 2017

A Birthday ....A Death Day


Everyone has a calendar marked with
the birthdays
 and anniversaries and special
dates 
of must-remember-to-send-a-card 
 circled
in red ink
or 
annotated 
with a sticky star.


Well some people do.
I do.
Now we have Facebook to
remind some of us.

March was always a busy time of year in our calendar.
Robin's and lots of family and friends'
birthdays.

And this time of year too.
Two dates close to each other.
 27th September
 8th October.
Which we often celebrated
by going away
on holiday.
I spent many of my birthdays 
and our wedding anniversaries
in the autumn warmth of rural
France 
or Spain 
or Italy. 



First anniversary alone last week.
First hurdle.

Yesterday was second hurdle. 
 My first birthday 
 without Robin.

I keep remembering 
this time
this day
this date
last year
when I didn't know
they would be
the last.


And now a new date in the calendar.
Approaching soon.
The highest hurdle.

A death day.

It was always marked with a
red circle in my diary anyway.
My brother-in-law's birthday.
And before that
Zambia Independence day.

24th October 2016.

This year 
a long mark scored
 into the cell wall
of my mind
not crossed out 
yet.




Without Robin 
but not alone on my birthday
 yesterday.

Spoiled with gifts and cards
and messages
and phone calls.

Celebrating at a Food Festival 
in European -like sunshine.

 Feeling remembered 
and treated
cherished
and  tenderly
loved.

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