Budleigh Salterton this afternoon after Robin's day at the Mede. And my day off the leash.
In a tiny cafe near the Cathedral I meet up with dear friends for coffee and should-have-had-cake instead of dry-not-cheesy-scone. But compensated for by their cheering-up company and sweet gifts to take home.
I also take home a bag of new clothes for Robin - M&S T-shirts and sweatpants ( a size smaller in the waist now) and a wash bag to replace his very old one that shouldn't really be seen in the vicinity of a 5 star hotel-home. I'm not in the mood with not enough leisurely browsing time to search through the rails of 60 percent off in the sale clothes.....can't think about what I want for me till next week.
But I still relish the last hour of my free afternoon... open the patio doors....put Santana Abraxas on the CD player at full volume....for once not worrying about disturbing the neighbours.....spike my salad lunch with big fresh basil leaves from the market - the perfume of summer ....eat it with the sun kissing my face....not worrying about skin cancer.....and read some pages of my novel.......till the sight of the tall spikes of white agapanthus, their ball heads just beginning to unfurl in the heat, in the shade, pull me away from the awfulness of the first world war and I let myself browse in the memories they bring back of other times, other countries, our lives before MND...... and in all the drifting beauty around me now, sitting in my untamed summer garden.
So when it's time to go and pick up Robin I feel sun drenched and replenished and willing and ready to answer his same questions and listen to his same phrases, scratch his endless itches, and drive him where ever he wants, because I'm not time starved.....because I'm not screaming inside And what about me?
Because I'm hugging the prospect of next week to my heart .....like a spray of soft agapanthus buds...waiting to open into the sunlight.
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