Gadgets and Aids

May blossom and green wheat in the high fields above Crediton where we visit a dear friend for tea this morning.  She is an amazing 84 - I don't think she'd mind me saying it -  and has great sympathy for Robin and his loss of independence - the thing she values most highly. Nothing wrong with her mind but she struggles with having to be dependent on her family ....can't lift and carry things like she used to....or walk so far.

But among other things she is a great gardener and gives wonderful hugs.

This is her beautiful, wisteria framed herbaceous border  - an English cottage garden - her constant view from her front room.  I love the abundant peacefulness of it.

This afternoon we drive to Newton Abbot - I think we are  going to be late for our appointment with an Occupational therapist at the NHS Independent Living Centre so I drive too fast  - till we pass a horrible motor bike accident on the slip road to the A380  - then I slow down.  And we are early anyway.

The ILC is a show room of every gadget and mobility aid you can imagine to make life a bit easier for people like Robin.  And for people much worse than Robin. It's amazing what is available. I'm so impressed and humbled by so much support.

 The lovely OT demonstrates how to use a stairlift  - there may be a  way round our narrow stairs - and  raising and lowering a hospital bed, and a self cleaning loo, and a handling belt and an amazing inflatable cushion called an ELK to get Robin up off the floor and into a sitting position if he fell, and an arm rest for using the computer, and a mechanical feeding spoon and another valved straw for drinking and a perching stool for the bathroom so I can shave him more easily.

Some of these things we'd have to buy. Robin wrinkles his nose up at all suggestions. He says he appreciates the argument for thinking about the future but he doesn't need any of them yet. Which leaves me feeling alone and frustrated about making the decisions...having to override him. ...waiting for something awful to happen. I find it all overwhelming.

Meanwhile his cough/ throat clearing is getting worse.  It is almost constant now and not only related to eating and drinking. I've increased the number of times he uses the cough assist machine.  Not sure it helps. It's probably the excess saliva.

Now it's nearly midnight... he's just dropped his electric toothbrush into the bath and can't pick it up ....and I need to flush the loo for him...  dry his hands.....blow his nose.....and  take off his dressing gown ...and turn back the duvet so he can get into bed...... and lift his right arm onto his chest so he can turn on his side.  Turn off his light.

So far they haven't invented a dependent-free gadget to replace me