Cakes

I arrive at our friend's house for my sister's early birthday lunch in an absolute state  - frustrated, desperate, tearful. Robin is out with a friend for 2 hours, the cleaner is coming for  2 hours which means I have the same 2 hours for this precious time out which I've been looking forward to so much.

  At 11am I'm ready to go, birthday cake, presents, rice salad in car. No cleaner. The minutes tick by. I talk to a neighbour while I'm hanging around outside - tell her about Robin's MND.  Then a text arrives. Cleaner has had a puncture but is on way. I arrange for P A to meet her with a key and speed off. I know I'm being irrational and ridiculous - everything swerves out of proportion as I watch my time shrinking away.

And of course there is enough time and we have a lovely lunch and a catch up. And afterwards I realise how tense and close to the edge I am, just hanging on provided everything goes to plan. Which of course it doesn't. But  I can never afford to be late back now, always need to make sure someone is with  Robin, cover myself, be there.....

Thank you Nigella for the Dark Chocolate Olive Oil cake - dairy and gluten free. And thank you Sarah Britten of My New Roots for Dark Chocolate Date icing - sugar and dairy free. The birthday girl loves it as it's not too sweet. 

More cake this afternoon in a pavement cafe in glorious sunshine.... Moroccan carrot  and cinnamon cake for Robin - very moist and  digestible and

Polenta Orange and Blueberry cake for me. Nice but not as good as my own. We have passion fruit and pineapple smoothies with it.

The lovely MND support person who comes this afternoon for her second visit says it's not good for Robin to lose too much weight and says I can get some sort of protein powder drinks in a sachet from the doctor to make sure he has enough calories. I think I can find a better way of getting calories into him. And to think I used to worry myself sick about how many biscuits he ate.... always taking the bowl of sugar lumps out of his way....

Tonight I'm just grateful  he eats a few spoonfuls of egg mayonnaise, hummus,  spinach and ground up pecan nuts and he drinks half a cup of water. And no coughing or choking.