Stuck on the ON Position

When my visitors leave 

I walk along the banks of

the Great Western Canal at Sampford Peverell....

 lined with Moses bullrushes...

bursting 

open into fluff 

soft as the fur of this pussy cat snoozing on a tethered barge.

Clouds

float on water.....

swan and

bridge reflected.

I watch this heron flap in on a great wing span...

land in thick green shade on the far bank...

and stand silent....frozen.... wood-carved still....

patient as a Buddha.

Last night my central heating went on the blink. Although I turned it to the OFF position it remained ON - the radiators belting out a heat I didn't need or want. I finally got it to go OFF at about midnight but I don't know what I did.

This morning I called a plumber  - actually I called 5 plumbers  - and the one who came this afternoon looked about 12 years old with a sweet smile. My confidence in him was slim but he fiddled about with the motorised valve.... said it was stuck on the mid position.... and said I needed a new one ....and  a new thermostat control box....he would order it and his boss would fit it. I decided to trust him. Although I haven't got a date as yet. Meanwhile I'm grateful for the immersion heater and my open fire in the sitting room.

I'm reading a very good book by David R Hawkins called 

Letting Go - The Pathway of Surrender.

He says that...

"To be surrendered is to have no strong emotions about a thing."It's Ok if it happens and it's OK if it doesn't." When we are free there is a letting go of attachments. We can enjoy a thing but we don't need it for our happiness. There is a progressive diminishing of dependence on anything or anyone outside of ourselves."

To get to this point there is a lot of letting go of strong emotions to do. A lot of inner work to do.

My emotions..grief, guilt, regret, fear.... are definitely still stuck on the the ON position ....but instead of just turning them OFF, 

I'm practising the art of entering my sadness...letting it be without criticising myself for having it or trying to change it....and letting out the energy/the attachment  stuck inside it.... the already and always present fear of abandonment ...in place long before Robin passed. Crying a lot.

I'm getting a glimpse of what emotional freedom means. Not to be free of feelings but to be released from the power I give them to determine the quality of my day.....my life.

Just imagine being in charge of that ...in charge of the valve in the thermostat.