Holding

 Still more photos on my long walk last week....and the sky is still this blue today.

 This morning  2 lovely plumbers come to remove small hand basins  (one avocado green, the other soft peach a la 1970s chic) and related boxed-in pipework in 2 bedrooms.

They hardly make any mess - just leave pink re-plastered basin shapes in the walls and re- fitted unpainted skirting boards.

I'm too tired to put all furniture and my things back in place, so tonight I sleep without curtains. Which doesn't make much difference as the moonlight floods in through the thin fabric anyway and only owls of the night can see in though the windows.

This afternoon lovely therapist says she can  feel how my body holds on, holds tight, holds still, holds back.....holds it all together.....waiting for it to be over.

And how there was nothing holding me from the very beginning ..... the tiny me needed to be  held...and it's this holding I long for now....

to rest into angel wings at my back....which hurts so much with all the trying to stay upright ...... holding myself together. 

Broken hearts are messy enough as it is.