Gone Forever

There is something wrong with my computer. 

I took a lot of photos while I was walking by the sea late this afternoon on my way back from having lunch with an old friend in Dorset.

They have all disappeared - the photos. This is the only surviving one on the desktop. Not the best. I downloaded them onto the computer this evening  so I know they were there. Now the file is empty. It says 21st December - No Photos. And I'd just deleted everything on my camera. Because I trusted the computer had them.

I'm  ridiculously heart broken. It physically hurts - a pain in my side -  this loss of just a few moments  in time - captured in my camera. I'll never have those moments again. The grey sea, the breaking waves, the black cliffs, the mist on the pebbles, will never actually be like they were when I was there on that day at that time. Gone - I'll never have them back, never be able to share them.

It doesn't matter that I have 28,000 photos already - most of them waves. 

And I know it's not about the photos. I keep going back to iPhoto and looking and looking and thinking they must be here somewhere - where can they be? They WERE here and now they aren't. And I don't know what I did to make them disappear. But I know they really have gone. Deleted. Those moments I captured are over forever.

 I just miss him dreadfully.