Life Saving Green Smoothies?

7am I am up making green smoothies to take to Robin .

9.30 arrive at Lucerne to meet new GP who I've ben told comes between 9am and 10am.

Nice carer still getting Robin dressed.

He sits in new battery powered wheelchair at table by the window and I feed him a bowl of mashed banana and peach yoghurt. Our view is of the back of the building and lovely green trees including an apple tree dropping its fruit .

 He takes sips of the green smoothie that I brought in small plastic water bottle. 

 To pass the time we look at the photos of the family and friends in his album. He knows who everyone one is even though he can't say their names.

The doctor is delayed. Robin is frustrated. He wants to go out for a drive. Instead I take him on a tour in the new super duper wheel chair, of the downstairs rooms, the dining room and physiotherapy room, the TV lounge and the small courtyard garden.

11 15am the doctor arrives but needs to see other patients first. 

I get Robin to play chess on the computer and listen to Carmina Burana at the same time. Using the cursor is painfully slow for him. He has a 'camera eye' programme installed which uses his eye as the cursor - he just has to move his head - but he doesn't want to do it yet.

Then he says, I want to lie down.

 I say, the doctor is coming very soon although I've totally lost confidence he ever will.

When he does finally arrive at 11.45 he's a bit stressed and looks about 12 years old.  I give him a quick potted history and how Robin's conditions affect him and he asks about his end of life requests and about not doing any invasive procedures. Which Robin doesn't want.

He just wants to go to bed. So the doctor leaves, the nurse calls for a carer to come, but they don't so I get Robin undressed and into bed. He is exhausted.

Later, talking to the nurse in the tiny office she says the doctor was very impressed with the green smoothies and that Robin should definitely have them and they are much better than the prepared, vanilla flavoured or strawberry flavoured high calorie drinks he could prescribe.

I like this doctor. But now I have a green smoothie job for life.

 I don't mind - so long as Robin drinks them. For as long as he can. And if he doesn't it's OK too  because I'm not trying to keep him alive. Even though it looks like I am.

I just don't want him to suffer. But I suppose it isn't my job to prevent that either.

On the way home I stop and do some shopping at Waitrose for the small anniversary tea  we are having tomorrow here at home. Although the actual date isn't till next week when we will have been married for 30 years.

I would never have imagined in a hundred years that this is how we would be celebrating it....with Robin drinking out of straw.....and a wheelchair in the hall.