Early Days

Teignmouth this afternoon.

This is the view from the car. .....in a disabled parking space next to a cafe on the on the sea front at Teignmouth. I am feeding Robin small plastic spoonfuls of coffee ice cream out of a tub. And encouraging him to drink the rest of the vanilla flavoured fortified vitamin/protein drink I brought with me - a free sample from the nutritionist after his diet was assessed a few weeks ago - to get him to put on weight.

When I rang Lucerne House this morning nurse J said he hadn't eaten or drunk anything much at all, all day yesterday and refused breakfast. At first he would only have one sip of the vitamin drink. I told him what would happen if he stopped eating and drinking. I'm just thinking about de-hydration/ urinary infection/confusion/ blood electrolytes going bonkers....but I explain it simply. I think he understands. In the end he drinks the whole 200ml.

They are keeping a chart of his food and fluid intake but I can see they are concerned. I am too. Tomorrow I will take in a supply of the fortified green smoothies that I make him for breakfast and see if that works. Maybe refusing to eat is all that is left for him to feel any sense of control.

 At least he is happy in the car when we are driving. Last night he just wanted to walk around the corridors of the home and didn't go to bed till midnight...it will take time for them to get used to him....and for him to settle....I hope.....trying to remember it is early days.

Views from the bottom of the garden this evening when I came home.... started to bring in the sheets and pillow cases from the washing line, still damp from this morning... noticed how beautiful the light was.....wanted to capture it....knowing I could take my time with all the night hours stretching ahead....just me and all the things I still have to do....without being torn in two ....without being called away....without being interrupted...without despair and frustration and weariness....a new and lovely dimension to relish.