Hopeless But Not Serious

 Barbary Macaque Apes ( rescued from Morocco) in Rocamadour SW France

After our long Family Therapy session at the hospital with our young clinical psychologist and two psychotherapists my mind is swimming all over the place so we treat ourselves to coffee and cakes in a cafe -  Plum and Almond for my husband and Moroccan Orange for me - fragrant, sweet and crumbly moist - just what I need. Afterwards we walk and talk by the estuary in bright sunshine.

We are talking about conflict, how do you get your needs met if they are in conflict with another person's? And about addictions - alcohol and others....

I say,

 You may be addicted to sex but if you are married you can't just sleep with anyone you fancy....

or you may be addicted to sugar and want to eat 10 slices of cake but it'll make you sick....

Quick as a trout snapping a mayfly, my husband says,

Or in my case it'll make my wife sick....

Which makes me laugh and laugh....(I'm always nagging him about how many biscuits he eats.)

Our homework from the family therapists - who say we need to value and treasure this transition time - before it's too late -  before everything changes beyond recognition -  is to try and get to the essence of our relationship, the truth of who we each are - our core values and write them down for next time. Not a big request then....

My husband asks me what essence means ....what core means.

 I say,

 You've always been able to make me laugh. That's a core thing in our relationship....

It's just that recently I've forgotten how essential it is....to laugh....to remember what some wise person said,

  the situation is hopeless but not serious...