Angels

Last night's sunset - one hour earlier than last week.

Red heart leaves - delicate as angel wings...

Supper waiting to go in the oven and melt into sunset comfort....

I keep thinking about that woman on Strictly Come Dancing the other night who had to be fierce and feisty, sexy and aggressive in her Paso Doble  - a stomping Cha Cha Cha dance from Spain. They had to bring in an acting coach because she didn't know how to do it. Because she was so nice, so sweet, it just wasn't in her to even pretend to be seductive, dramatic.

She didn't get good scores from the judges. She wasn't being asked to change her personality - just to play the game of the dance to have a chance of winning.

Each game has its own rules - you can't play a new game by the old rules. If you are a new mother, a new widow, newly retired, newly disabled, newly wealthy, newly promoted, newly married, newly bereaved you have something to rise to, something to dig deep for inside you....

I am a new carer. It isn't who I am. It's what I do now. And being afraid all the time disables me - like a creeping disease. My other choice is to trust in something bigger than me. Learn some new dance steps.

 So today when I sit in the office of the lawyer with my husband and two lovely angels by my side -  he turns out to be an angel too, the lawyer -  says hopeful words that sweep away my worst fears about my husband's speeding offence  - then I feel as if I'm learning new rules - a new way of being .....all that worrying that I didn't need to do....

Which made the hot chocolate and almond croissants which we celebrated with in Carluccio's afterwards taste much sweeter without the usual background music of this can't be true thrumming in my veins.