Thoughts Are Not Facts

24th May 2102 Thursday

I wake early and compose two difficult emails in my head. Then get up and send them - my heart fluttering.

Coffee and catch up with two dear friends in busy cafe - why is it so nice?

Mix up left over cold new potatoes with mustard and lemon mayonnaise for our avocado lunch - too hot to eat outside.

Warm, understanding responses to my emails about changing our financial advisor. All that worrying for nothing.

The pussy cat laps up his chemo tablet crushed up in yogurt - bitterness disguised with drops of honey.

Talking to a dear friend on the phone about diets - we decide the best sort is the Kindness Diet.

Tonight, driving back from Mindfulness Meditation class, an orange ball sun hangs low in a hazy sky just like a Monet sunset painting. The perfume of the May blossom blows into the car through my open windows and the hedgerows are a frothy mass of cow parsley.  My husband has cut me a bunch of pyracantha blossom from the allotment  -  a gift of scented white lace to welcome me home.

This evening I have a new mantra from Jon Kabat -Zinn - 

THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS

So when I say to my husband tonight, standing by the sink,  ‘Don’t leave me’, it’s just an old fear rooted thought. Nothing happened in the kitchen - just a mental storm in my head.  As light and insubstantial as May blossom stars falling into the wind.