17th December 2012
This afternoon the veil is thin between me and my ancestors. I find myself stepping into the energy of my two grandmothers, my two grandfathers imagining the people they were, imagining what they would say to me now if I could bring them back to my world. And my parents are there too making up a family constellation. They are represented as shells and pebbles and crystals spread out on the table that I can move and remove - place them near me and faraway from me - a small spiral shell in the centre, in a way I couldn’t do in real life. They are all bigger and shinier and bolder than me.
It looks like a game but the purpose is healing - I don’t trust men is one of my stories. I’m looking here for clues - among these big men and among these strong women who shaped the lives of the ones who shaped mine - to understand them and maybe to re-write my own story.......
Tonight we spend in the company of Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf and Thorin Oakenshield. I take a risk my husband would enjoy it. He has read The Hobbit and seen The Lord of the Rings but doesn’t remember it. He says he got the gist of it but didn’t understand what anyone said and he didn’t like all the killing. Which there is a lot of and very much in your face in 3D....
But I’d trust Gandalf with my life.....
Coming home and watching Nigella whip up a Cappucino Pavlova is soft pillowy relief....
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