Jack-In-The-Box

20th December 2012

My husband comes shopping with me. I usually go alone  - potter in the market, sometimes meet a friend for coffee, do things on my list and things that aren’t on my list - like looking at clothes I don’t need.

Today we are focused on buying Christmas stuff. I’m grateful to my husband for carrying the bags heavy with potatoes and carrots, seedy bread and eggs, Romanesco cauliflower and red cabbage. I argue a bit with the fishmonger about the size of the salmon fillet I want for the salmon en croute I’m making on Christmas day. He convinces me to buy a much smaller piece than I was planning - he says it’ll be enough. for four. He’s in a grumpy mood as he has just had bad news about something on the phone to his wife. My husband makes some jokes about it which I think are inappropriate. I’m embarrassed. Something I have to live with now - that ever present tension - waiting to spring out like a jack-in-the-box....

I love looking at the racks of baby clothes in Debenhams - I’m on the hunt for something for my great niece in the section 3 - 9 months. The little dresses and coats and babygrows are all so cute - I want to buy them all. I can tell my husband is getting bored with my indecision. I try and imagine her from the photos, but she lives in Beirut so I'll have to wait till next year before I can meet her -  which I’m longing to do.

I spend this afternoon with chocolate - the almond macaroons I make for my husband’s aunty are a disaster - they burn on the bottom and look dark and unappetising. I want to bin them but my husband likes them. The chocolate dipped almond filled dates look better. So I hope she’ll like those instead.....

They say the world will end tomorrow - but I don’t believe it.