Irritations and The Hope Rainbow

11th April 2012 Wednesday

Some little irritations and some big things today -

My husband has changed our internet provider - now sending my emails is horribly slow and he can’t send them at all.....

The hard skin around my finger nails has cracked and split - tiny slits which sting

all the time like lemon juice in cuts.....

The grease mark on my new dress which I thought I’d washed out this morning is still there like a bad penny......

The waitress who serves us coffee is so apologetic and self effacing when she hasn’t done anything wrong that I want to shake her....

The pussy cat is sick on the bed, on the stairs, on the sitting room carpet and on the kitchen floor - which I step on in my socks.....

The good thing, the best thing....the hour and a half session we had this morning with our lovely clinical psychologist who can take the temperature or our relationship, recognise our symptoms at this point in our journey and offer us the kind of medicine that is easy to swallow. And practical things to do.... and things to unlearn - like bringing fear of the future into the present. We leave his office lighter with hopefulness.

But I thought it might be a good day because early this morning....

I hear rain on the window,

lift the curtain to one side.

I see a rainbow,

half arched brilliance

for ten seconds.

Count it holding my breath,

then it’s gone

along with the sun.

Back into grey smudge.

But still I drank it in

for those tiny moments -

a potion

of bright hope.

Shoring up my day