Denial?

26th April 2012 Thursday

Late sun is shining on the garden. A lovely woman is sitting opposite me at our kitchen table. There is a pot of Earl Grey tea between us. She is telling me some practical stuff about how to get help as a carer for my husband. I’m writing it down. She has eighteen years experience of caring for her husband who suffered damage to his brain after a car accident.

I realise I’m not seeing myself as a carer. Not yet. I keep saying how it’s early days for my husband - how it’s not that bad. 

She says there are some things you should be doing now - get them in place for when you will need them.

She tells me about the 5 stages of loss - 

1 denial

2 anger

3 bargaining

4 sadness/despair

5 acceptance

It has taken her till this year to get to number 5.

I’m wondering if I’m still at stage 1- at least flipping between 1 and 2 and 4 - but nothing to bargain with.