How to stare death in the face

Listening to Matt Khan's video  -  Consciousness  is Everything, he answers my question about where did Robin go.

He talks about being at his father's funeral, seeing his dead body, realising that his father is more alive in his own heart than in the shell of the body he used to inhabit.

That he didn't go somewhere else but moved to a different level... his light/consciousness has moved back to the Source, the consciousness within him, Matt, within all of us.

If I don't try and understand it too much with my head I can feel the truth of it, that I already know it,   that the essence of Robin, his Light, not his personality, is what I feel sometimes, what I can call on when I'm alone and bereft.

And it's just my mourning  lost-child-self which clings on to the memory of him in his body when he was here with me.Which is only how I knew him - in his body -  so conjuring him  up without it is such a new thing to learn, to live with. An impossible thing really... I think in pictures so  I can't make up any images of him...disembodied. 

Today I bring this cool wet autumn

into the house - I cut leaves and branches and berries and fill a jug of them for the hearth. 

I was going to light a fire in the grate for my two dear visitors who are floundering in the cauldron of a terminal illness diagnosis, but the sun pours into the sitting room and warms us all instead.

I bake vegan muffin/buns for them - banana, lime, walnut, blueberry and almond - more like a soft biscuit than a cake and make fennel tea.

  I sit with them  for a long while, sharing what we know and what we don't know - 

how to stare death in the face and imagine one of us not being here. 

This lovely nut hatch has been visiting the bird feeder all day. He has been absent so long...I thought I'd never see him again. And now he's here, a beautiful rare gift - out of the blue.