Clearing the Jungle - of Weeds and Grief

When I went on my walk the other day I expected the footpath  to be as  narrow, overgrown and jungly as it was a few days ago. But it had been strimmed by the council into a broad clear route bordering the wheat field.

This afternoon I put on my wellies and  cleared the jungle of nettles, cow parsley, goosegrass, buttercups and brambles all along the lower banks of the stream. I waded through the shallow running water working my way up to the waterfall, which was completely obscured behind an overhanging curtain of elder and hazel branches.

It's all in a good cause -  tomorrow my great nephew is coming to spend the day with me and I know he likes messing about in streams. I don't want him to be put off by the forest of weeds and nettles which would be towering above his head.

I received this book in the post today. I have seen an interview with her - Jane Duncan Rogers -  and found her warm and wise and inspiring. I've dipped into it and already she is describing my experience of loss exactly...I still find myself in unexpected tears almost every day.  I'm especially interested in the re-birth section.

And now I'm taking a break from blogging for a short while...

feeling the need to re-assess, to find a way through my own jungle of grief which keeps being re-newed.

Like the leopard I want to find a way to rest more between spurts of hunting..... changing my late night blogging habit would be good.

Back soon.

In their Eighties and Nighties - Totally Inspiring

I see the face of my grandmother in her niece, my father's cousin, who is 94 today. She didn't tell us it was her birthday or  that her husband, who is now in the slow slide into dementia, will be 100 in September. In spite of crippling osteoporosis she is bright, knowledgable, humorous. Her indomitable spirit is totally  inspiring.

She served  us coffee, tea, shortbread fingers and Crumbles' Coconut Kisses - apologising for the palm oil in them - from a  wooden tea trolley laid with a cloth. We sat on sofas in their lounge, the 3 bars of the electric fire keeping the chill at bay, ( she says "I always turn the boiler off in May") and while the rain slashed at the windows we talked about families and the garden and how they will manage without a car  - if it comes to that -  and the play they were going to see tonight at the local theatre - Dial M for Murder.

I'm glad we took homemade chutney and bunches of sweet peas and scented stocks even though we didn't know it was her birthday.

Later we walked in the beautiful wild garden of a dear friend, in her eighties, recovering from a bad fall a few months ago - also totally inspiring - who has recently moved to live in Stroud with her family.

I hope I will still be as compos mentis, spirited and resolute as they are when I'm in my eighties.

Except I'm not sure I want to live that long....

 Fallen elderflower stars on newly built deck. 

My very observant sister spotted this green woodpecker away in the distance, perched on top of a bamboo wigwam while we were having a boiled egg salad picnic in the car park of some allotments.  It flew onto the grass and although  it's far away, well camouflaged and a bit blurred I was thrilled to see my first green woodpecker - which I would have missed completely as it flew off just seconds after I took this photo.

 And raindrops on roses - one of my favourite things....

CAT and Ancestors

Today I had a lovely lunch ( wheat, dariry and caffeine free) and catch up with a dear friend who has been ill.

Although I'm home in Devon part of me is still back in the treetops in Wales....

One afternoon we visited the CAT centre - Centre for Alternative Technology - near Machynlleth which has been going for more than 40 years - practising and and informing us of  all things sustainable, re-newable, environmental and organic - long before the current drive to save our planet.

This is what the site - an historic slate quarry - looked like in1973 when my brother was one of the volunteers helping to build it... they were staying in caravans and working in very basic, muddy conditions when I went with my parents to visit him. It was like the story of the Eden Project  - someone- in this case Gerard Morgan-Grenville -  with a vision for an alternative, friendly, inclusive sustainable  way of living.....inspiring other people to make it happen.

This part of Wales has more than one connection for our family. It's also the home of my father's mother's ancestors .....some of her relatives are buried in the churchyard in Machynlleth. And tomorrow my sister and I will drive up to Stroud to visit my father's cousin - the last remaining member of that generation. She reminds me of my grandmother and it's always good to talk to someone who knew my parents when they were young....when sustainable and environmentally friendly and renewable energy were unknown concepts in their world. 

 

I'm sometimes at a loss what to write on this blog...and often it's late at night....a habit I've tried to change without an iota of success. So I leave you with this  quote from the wonderful  Rumi ... some wisdom I could apply to changing my late night blog habit.

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.

Today I am wise so I am changing myself.

Making Memories in the Treetops

Even though it rained nearly all the time in the Welsh forest ....it was challenging cooking by the light of tiny candles....wearing wellies to go to the composing loo in the middle of the night...descending spiral walkways and a swing bridge to have a shower open to the elements  - I wouldn't have missed my weekend with the family for anything - 

The faces of the children playing in the stream in mud and rain...sharing a Hobbit house in the treetops with my big sister, the face of  our sister blowing out her birthday candles....knowing that making memories is the best feeling of all. 

If you want to check out the treetop experience they are called 

Livingroom Treehouses near Machynlleth in mid Wales.

Now I'm back home with the birds and the roses.

Feeling fed up today with a haircut I don't like....unsettled by the rain and wind and cold...miserable with following my exclusion diet.

And unbearably sad about an illness in the family.

Bold Babies...and Being Adventurous

I can't resist taking photos of these sweet baby bluetits.

What is it about all things fluffy that is so appealing....kittens and chicks...maybe it's just that they are babies....and all babies have that built in heart-melting gene.

The parent is tirelessly attentive even though I have seen the babies feed themselves

from the hanging fat balls especially.

Like this baby great tit..

hanging on for dear life... resolute....

look at me... 

I did it!

And  this evening, when I was re-filling the feeders this bold little one just stayed on its perch,

 ignoring me while I came up close with the camera - not afraid at all.

I have been in the kitchen most of the day - only stopping for tea with young friends this afternoon  -  cooking up pasta sauces and birthday cake and flapjack to take away on a trip this weekend  - glamping in a beautiful forest in Mid Wales in a 'Living Treehouse'.   My big sister and I are helping our middle sister to celebrate her 70th birthday with her family high up in the treetops....planning to make it into an adventure inspite of a wet weather forecast.

And I'll be leaving behind my reservations about how to manage without electricity ( my young friends said in unison " but how will you charge your phone?!), no hairdryer, no internet and the only way to have hot water for a shower is to chop wood for the fire, and to read by candlelight.

 But I do know that if I dig deep enough I'll come across those adventurous ancestral genes - my pioneering grandparents who would think the Treehouses were palaces - and do more than survive.....even rise to the challenge.

My parents would be proud.

I'll be back next week....fully charged.