Paperwork...ending the story

I'm 

on 

my way to 

 my nesting mate....

 always staying nearby...on guard...

and sometimes taking a break.

Today my plans are scuppered and it becomes all about paperwork instead, I read the 45 page Homebuyers' Survey Report on the house I am buying.

I answer detailed enquiries from my buyers' solicitor about the building work we had done here, mostly in the kitchen, in 2003 when we moved in. 

I track the story of our plans in quotes and invoices and diagrams and search for guarantees and legal requirements in the fat house file. And find the evidence of how we transformed it.

Robin's handwriting, his signature, his presence, his love is on every piece of paper. When it was the beginning of our new life here in this house ...building our nest.

I'm dismantling it now....ending the story....missing him so much... I can't say,

 Do you remember when we...?

Because only he would know. And he's not here. And he never will be. My fingers can write it but my bones won't believe it.