Such a wonderfully co-operative mallard duck ....on golden pond ...in the park on Friday.
On Saturday with my sweet great-niece
painting pebbles
with such joyous
concentration.
And throwing stones
down the old well.. ....disappearing with a long plop below.
Imbolc snowdrops in rich mud....
and later driving into the sunset on my way to visit Robin's aunty.
Today
Few words tonight as I'm very tired....but very happy to have my tooth back.... fixed on a bridge...so my tongue no longer has to worry away at the big gap that has been in my lower jaw for months. A whole mouth again.
I'm thinking about moving now. Letting go of this house and our life that lived it into existence. Too many gaps where Robin used to be.....which can't be bridged with new memories.
This afternoon, clearing out a drawer in my desk, I find a hanging file of all the cards he wrote to me, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas.
Reading them dissolves me......carries me away.....till much later I find it's getting dark and I'm stiff and cramped from crouching on the carpet....afraid I'll smear the ink of his sweet words with all that wetness and mourning.
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