....in all the rooms of our house.

It's a good day to take photos of the house as the sun is shining.  Lovely estate agent says he'll come round first thing to photograph the front garden and come back later to do the internal shots for the brochure.

I sweep the front patio and wash down the yellow front door. And move the pots around in the 

back garden and get completely frozen fingers trying to tidy up the beds. But it's winter and there is nothing much to be done to the still hibernating plants.

I had invited a dear friend round for lunch but she has had a bad fall so I take meals on wheels round to her house. A roasted tomato, red onion, chilli and feta frittata and spiced red cabbage and apple with out of season raspberries for dessert.

She tells me about her recent trip to Cambodia and Laos. And also that their Grey parrot died unexpectedly yesterday. He has been a member of their family for 38 years and I feel her shock and sadness still clinging to her like mist.

Back home I whizz around and clear the mantlepieces of family photos and my personal clutter....shove teddy bears and jewellery into drawers and half worn clothes into the bottom of the wardrobe.

 I do some research about the beautiful ceiling in our sitting room - it's a rare example of Victorian Lincrusta-Walton wall paper - made from wood pulp and linseed oil gel, rolled between steel plates and layered up to make this type of  elaborate embossed paper.

Lovely estate agent says it's a unique selling point for our house and he has only ever since it once before in a house in Crediton...and he has been in the business for 30 years.

The sun is still pouring into the kitchen as he walks around taking photos and measuring the rooms

of the home I'm already leaving behind in my mind. 

All day I've been missing Robin with a deep ache in my chest that won't go away. Doing this without him is all wrong. However much I tell myself it's what he'd want for me all I can feel is the emptiness of the space he used to occupy ...in all the rooms of our house... in the chambers of my heart.