Financial Planning - For The Highest Good

Fish tank in the restaurant where we had Valentine's lunch in Lyme Regis. I complained about the long wait to be served and when my risotto and Robin's stuffed pepper finally arrived  the waitress  brought us a complimentary dish of very large roast potatoes....which were delicious. I ate most of them. 

Before visiting Robin's aunty we took a tiny walk along the sea front.....

looking up more than usual....

following the path of this flock of pigeons

resting on the tiles.....

the sun coming and going.

On the way back to the car along the river walk I can't resist  these sunbathing surfers uniforms

 or this sweet paddling mallard under the bridge.

This morning  while Robin was out I  planned to achieve two things - hoover the stairs and sweep up the rotting leaves in the front garden. I forgot how hoovering and gardening wrecks my back. It's

 too frustrating to not finish the task.....so I'm paying the price now. However  I'm meeting a woman on Friday who may be the answer to some of my prayers  in one lovely package - help in the house and garden and help with Robin.

This afternoon in my extremely helpful coaching session with a dear friend I uncovered two things  - two Aha! moments. One is that I can't make Robin happy - which I've been trying to do - a hopeless task resulting in failure and feeling guilty and doesn't work on any level.

 The second is the distinction between caring and being of service. Or rather caring in an attempt to make him happy only ends up in me being resentful. Whereas being of service, but not being a servant, when I'm choosing to care for him, makes me feel good ....makes us both happy. 

So this evening when I'm reading to him the extremely complicated  report about our 'retirement planning' options in preparation for a meeting with our financial advisor tomorrow, trying to understand it myself and translate it for him, it feels like serving both of us. 

I'm very aware how  awfully difficult it is for him as this was his area of expertise. But now I know it's not my job to make him happy it's easier to feel compassion for him....trusting  that whatever we decide will be for the highest good for everyone.