Safe And Free In This Moment

An exquisitely wrapped birthday gift from a dear friend today.

This morning in my family constellation session I chose some crystals and some precious stones to represent me and Robin. And also Freedom, Healing and Guilt - some things that have been troubling me. Out of the conversation with them I found that the guilt was also grief and not only mine....that the source of it was in Robin's family too....and the healing of it is to give it back where it belongs. 

And the longing for freedom is also the longing for love. The more I love myself, heal myself through Grace, the more I can release Robin.....freeing myself I free him from the burden of my guilt. And then anything can happen.

So when he tells me tonight that he found it really hard to get out of the bath because of the weakness in his arms ..... that he was afraid he would fall.....I don't let the lurch of fear freeze my heart or think it's somehow my fault.....I don't even make a panicky plan about what to do if he can't get out of the bath. 

I just notice that I don't know what to do...... or even how to love the little me that is afraid...but that somehow I will...because I'm still here.... just breathing. Safe and free in this moment.