Grant Me The Serenity

A lone November rose in spluttering rain this morning. I notice it when I'm carrying yesterday's vegetable peelings down to the compost bin at the bottom of the garden.

We have an early appointment with our lovely Physiotherapist at the surgery. He's most concerned about Robin's right hand stiffening into a claw. He says he can't see him anymore as he now needs neuro-physiotherapy which happens at the hospital and will need a referral from the consultant. When we are leaving Robin says,

But I want to go on seeing you, you are such a lovely guy.

He is. But he's already seen us more than he should have.

At home I ring the consultant's secretary and ask if Robin can be referred for neuro-physio even though he hasn't had an MRI scan yet - the appointment's in a month's time. He says it's unlikely but he'll pass the message on. I don't mean to but I find myself crying a bit on the phone as he sounds so sympathetic. He's also called Robin.

I ring the GP for a referral to the Occupational Therapist but she's out today.

Later, while Robin is having lunch before our friend comes to pick him up, I ring EE - Robin's mobile phone company to get his contract changed. I've already rung 3 times and been cut off. They need to speak to Robin for security questions before they'll speak to me - but I know he's forgotten his password.

 I finally get through. Put Robin on the phone. Translate the security questions for him as the person on the other end has a strong Indian accent that he can't understand. I tell Robin the answers to, What was the last bill? What are the last three digits of your bank account?

 Then he puts me on hold with music.

Our friend arrives to take Robin out. I answer the door with the singing phone glued to my ear. I apologise. I explain. I ask him to tie Robin's shoe laces. Robin finishes eating his banana. The man in India finally comes back on the line. Then we are instantly cut off. I wave them goodbye.

It has to be done today as it's the last day of the old mobile phone contract which is stupidly expensive but I can't face going through it all again. And now Robin is asleep.

Today I also discover the soothing qualities of brown rice - for an unhappy gut. Mine hasn't been good for a while. I come over all hot and dizzy at the surgery this morning. Lovely physio brings me a glass of water, says I've lost colour. It passes.

Later I make myself a bowl of brown rice with a boiled egg and soya sauce. And then a bowl of brown rice with maple syrup. It's so hard not to eat vegetables but soft is all I can face.

A friend gave me a lovely card today with the Serenity Prayer on the front...reminding me to take care of myself.

Grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change.

The courage to change the things I can.

And the wisdom to know the difference.