On Saturday we drove to Glastonbury...remembering that we spent our first wedding anniversary there at the end of September 29 years ago. Last year, about this same time we had lunch at the Rainbow's End Vegetarian cafe in the town and then walked up to the top of the Tor and enjoyed the magnificent views of Somerset and the Mendips rolled out below us.
This time we had a big salad lunch in the same cafe but Robin didn't want to walk to the Tor. I had a feeling he might not want to but still I longed to retrace our steps...to climb the hill.... with the reward of the chapel and the wind and views at the top. So I drove us home instead with the taste of raw onion in my mouth and raw disappointment in my belly.......forgetting that this disease is not only stealing away his life bit by bit but it's teaching me to let go of how it was - even a year ago - and to stay with this is how it is now..... and now....... and now.
13th September 2014 - at the top of Glastonbury Tor.
So when we got home, Robin went to bed, and I took my camera to the University Parks.....and walked its autumn paths....... finding a solace there.... finding a close up view can be just as rewarding as the far distant one from the top of the hill - which isn't where I am .....yet.
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