Singapore Orchids.
Tonight my husband leaves the house in his old clothes and heads out to Dartmoor for his ceramics class - to give it another go after being defeated by it last week. I drive away a few minutes later with a big Leek and Cheddar quiche, steaming up the plastic cake box, on the seat beside me - heading for a bring and share supper at our friends' house down the road. I'm already full from a lovely long bring and share lunch with two friends earlier on.
A few hours later I drive back with an iced chocolate cup cake, light as fairy dust, sprinkled with tiny gold stars, nestled on the seat beside me - a gift for my husband from the friend who baked it. And I'm full again with gorgeous food and lovely conversations and company, brimming over with gratitude for all the tender loving care from these dear people.....and also I'm struggling with a question....
How can I receive all the kindness and support I'm offered.....how can I let people contribute to me... when I've done nothing to deserve it? But by not asking for help or feeling so bad about having to ask for it - especially around people spending time with my husband - I'm actually denying someone the chance to make a contribution - to him and to me....
I can't really get my head around this....I know in my heart that giving and receiving are the same thing....but my head still thinks that giving is better - more familiar anyway....you have to do something to deserve love..... to claim your place in the world... But the message I'm getting is the opposite....if everything is Love that includes me - no deserving about it.....
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