Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Unravelling These Knots



A floating blossom of Himalayan Knotweed  which is infiltrating our river banks at a rate of knots - strangling our native species... an ebola of the plant world. Does knowing that make this photo less beautiful - somehow change my perception of it....? Beautiful but bad....

But then I see everything through my own filters of good and bad.... right and wrong. It's quite knackering actually....constant self judgement.

Today I noticed I felt irritated with my husband for ordering his repeat prescriptions online for his itchy head, and getting in a muddle with it after I'd said Let's do it together when I get back. (always telling him what to do....).
He's sure he's got a third bottle of scalp application from the two he already has. Although he doesn't know it's called that. I check with the doctor but she can't find anything in his records. He may be right about it but I can't help him without a name for it.... can't  help feeling guilty - I should know what he's taking for his skin...and I keep buying him alternative, homeopathic lotions as well....no wonder he's in a muddle...

Now I'm tired of trying to untangle the muddle of our long history.....we got so meshed up I can't find the threads of me in our net. But I'm going to keep unravelling these knots..... find a way to set us both free.....starting with me.

 Which means gentle self care....like going to bed now...




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