Saturday morning we are driving up the A30 on our way for a day out in Somerset.....traffic slows, queues build up, almost to a standstill. I'm immediately tetchy and frustrated - should we try and find a way round through the narrow country lanes or go back or go somewhere else all together? I hate going back.... hate being thwarted....decide to divert via Honiton ....join the long shuddering queue on the slip road... and finally get clear of the jam. A journey which usually takes 20 minutes takes an hour.
So instead of the trip to Barrington Court in Somerset, we end up meandering along the banks of the brown river at Otterton, past the vibrant displays of hawthorn berries and rose hips - bright as jewels - and the last straggling blackberries.... and sit in the sunshine at a round cafe table for a late sandwich lunch. Not the original plan....but then things don't always go to plan....I suppose how you deal with unexpected change is what matters.....I don't think it's something you are supposed to be good at....I'm not.....but maybe fighting and resisting it isn't a way through.
Sunday morning I set off for my Course In Miracles group in a small town outside Exeter - lunch to share on the back seat - a warm Roasted Root Veggie Tortilla ( thank you Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall for the recipe in your VEG book). At the end of our street I see a line of red and white bollards and a sign saying ROAD CLOSED. Then I remember it's the day of the annual Great West Run - a charity event through the streets of Exeter and beyond - cutting off all normal routes.
I'm immediately furious. I feel trapped. I hate being late - can't think how to get out the city -start driving east to get west - end up at another ROAD CLOSED sign. I don't remember the lesson from yesterday - I don't think about all the people who are running the race in a good cause - just how much it's inconveniencing me. A nice Welshman (who I'm rude to) at the ROAD CLOSED sign suggests I follow the DIVERSION signs....being dyslexic about directions I'm quite lost by now so I take his advice. And end up exactly where I need to be to get out of the city and join the A30. And I'm not very late after all.
Sometimes it feels like my life came to standstill after my husband's diagnosis. The road I was on has been closed. I'm being offered a diversion - another alternative route. And a choice...to keep trying to get back to the way it was - (impossible) or to transform the diversion into the main path. And notice what bright jewels could be shining in the undergrowth along the way if I keep my eyes - and my heart - open.
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