His Loud Joy

We take an early evening walk under brooding grey skies at Killerton House -  our nearest and dearest National Trust property.

I forget for a moment that this wicker deer family aren't alive and approach very slowly with  my camera,

so as not to startle them.

I get a crick in my neck straining to see the very top of this pine tree.

Cob nuts ...I think....or rather Beech nuts....

View from the top of the ancient Hill Fort - 400AD -  in the woods above the house.

Fluffy cradle of Rosebay Willowherb - 

could have been spun by spiders.

Memorial - inscribed with the names of the dead  - 1870 possibly - but in which war ? - impossible to read now as the writing is eroded away.

Celtic cross...

Rose and Russian Salvia in the long herbaceous borders..

 and a Canna... the sight of which always always takes me back to the ones planted on the roundabouts in my home town of Lusaka in Zambia.

The sky tonight   - view from the top landing window.

They say the end of a hurricane is coming in this weekend...bringing rain on Sunday - possibly spoiling picnic plans with friends.

Feeling flat tonight - after my family constellation session this morning, the lovely S says I look much better, younger, less haggard than when I arrived bringing my weariness with me. She says I  need more respite - a few days away to come back to myself, to gentle myself - like I did in Cornwall. But that means leaving my husband....although I think he could manage a couple of nights alone with some company in the day...if I could let myself contemplate the idea - make it safe for both of us.

Today I notice with the stopping of his antidepressants the return of his extreme emotionality.....maybe that's why I feel flat.....need to damp myself down so as not to be swamped by his loud joy.