Rising Tide

9th July 2012 Monday

I was going to cook the artichokes for lunch but when it came it I couldn’t eat anything what with my mouth still full of novacaine from two fillings -  my jaw and lower lip numb and aching. It didn’t wear off till  supper time but crept up into my head instead and left me wobbly and tearful. At least that’s what I’m putting it down to - not this rising tide of anxiety that keeps swimming up to choke me.

A yelllow warning light flashes on the dashboard when I’m driving home through spitting rain. The lovely man at the garage says it’s to do with an electrical wire and the exhaust. He thinks he fixes it with an expensive looking gadget. But the light comes back on as soon as I turn into our road.  I ring him and he’ll order a part. So comforting to have someone looking after my car.

I can’t face my to do list so I peel potatoes and chop swiss chard, dice red onions and fresh ginger and cook up a coconut curry sauce for fat haddock fillets which I bake in the oven. I’m hoping  to tempt the pussy cat with the fish.  He’ll only eat out of my hand at the moment - and only tiny teasponfuls at a time.

It such a relief when he  does eat a bit of the haddock so I put one of the fillets aside for him for tomorrow too. Maybe it’ll bring his appetite back. I’m hoping mine will return too when all this tribunal stuff is over and the flood waters in my chest start to subside......