Solstice ...the longest dark ....the shortest light ....the turning of the year.
I arrive earlier in the market this morning, hoping to avoid the Christmas crush to buy Brussel sprouts and parsnips. One of the regular stalls is called Bon Gout - a well established delicatessen run by a young enthusiastic couple who own a shop in Exeter. They provided all the buffet savoury food for Robin's funeral. Today Nichola is the stall holder....although I wrote and thanked her afterwards I wanted to say a personal thank you...the food was excellent.
She was so lovely and asked how I was....but seeing her brought that day back ...instant drowning....and I found myself in tears ....and just wanted to come home.
Sometimes it's like that - I have no warning....I am weepy and wobbly all day.... so I stay in the kitchen and make foodie Christmas presents....to earth me to something ...to root me into this moment...this now.
I collect and weigh out all the ingredients I need to make fresh Korma curry paste.
The long orangey roots - alarmingly resembling fat maggots - are fresh turmeric...they look like carrots when they are peeled....but they stain everything.
Whizzed up into a paste....
the ingredients lose some of their vibrant colours.
But the paste will keep for ages in the fridge. Having made a quick potato and spinach curry with some of this mixture it was fragrantly pungent and aromatic....I don't think I'll buy a jar of curry paste ever again. I say that now mind you....
I decide to ring the changes with my walnut stuffed dates and dip them in milk chocolate and white chocolate as some people in my family aren't as keen as I am on dark 70 percent.
It's a very messy business....chocolate dipping. But it keeps me occupied in the now. So for a while I forget to dip into the past....which is also a messy and painful business......no sweet reward there.
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