How Lucky I Am

In the hot house at Arlington Court in North Devon on Saturday.

I don't know what this lovely trailing 

creature is but probably something tropical.

The Victorian garden there - all very formal with fish pond, heron statues, begonias and silver leaf planted in circles,

 and a fountain, 

trailing 

silver water cobwebs,

and a column of dancing flamenco water

in the centre.

 Arlington Court is also the home of the National Carriage Museum. I was stunned at how enormous some of them were, the wheels coming nearly to my shoulder. Just like giant prams really. 

But with horses included.

This child's carriage was pulled by a dog.

 Later I was glad of a different kind of horse power to get us home across a rather bleak and windy Exmoor.

This afternoon I sat in a meeting at the offices of Age UK with three other carers. We'd been invited to share our experience of what it's like to look after - in our cases, our husbands, all still at home, and all at different stages in the relentless creeping march of dementia. The purpose to find out what kind of service Age UK could offer to support people like us.

One woman had been looking after her husband for 16 years. And his mother. She said there are more bad days than good. Another woman said she thought she was wonder woman, could manage on her own, and didn't tell anyone or ask for help till she was near to breaking.  For another woman it was the first time she had ever spoken to other carers about what she felt. As well as having dementia her husband is disabled and also violent to her. All of us had tears including the lovely women leading the meeting.

All I could think is how lucky I am. Which doesn't mean that every day, like them, I don't want to do it. But tonight at least I'm not afraid to go to bed.