This Night

The begonias I carried to my parents' graveside yesterday.

BBQed aubergines and courgettes

Teriyaki Salmon - two fillets for tomorrow's supper

10th July 2013

The heat is brutal.  I feel sticky all the time even in my sarong. 

This evening we pick three punnets of red currants at the allotment, two boxes of strawberries, a bag of broad beans and five spikey globe artichokes. My husband carries the watering cans back and forth from the tank, barely wetting the parched soil, trying to keep the peas and carrots and tomatoes alive.

It’s late when we get home but decide to go ahead with the BBQ. I marinate fat salmon fillets in a Teryaki sauce ( sesame oil, rice vinegar, soy sauce, honey and garlic - thank you Meadow Linn for the recipe) and long slices of courgette and aubergine in olive oil, lemon zest and juice, chopped fresh oregano and more crushed garlic.

While my husband sits at the picnic table and shells the broad beans I start cooking. I’m not sure the coals are ready but don’t ask him. He doesn’t remember what they should be like. It was always him in charge of the BBQ, the  long fork in his hand flipping the courgettes, the mackerel fillets, the sausages. I feel sad taking on this job that used to be his. I burn some of the aubergine slices but he says he likes them anyway.

We linger on in the darkening garden, the air still warm at 9.30, listening to the rising crescendo of the party a few streets away.

And I remember this night 5 years ago....the night my mother died.