19th November 2012
It’s a dank afternoon. Wind blowing misty rain into my face under my umbrella as I walk into town. My fingers freeze inside my gloves. When I arrive in the warm cosy room at the Mind and Body Centre my councellor makes me hot mint tea. She asks me to rate my energy levels out of ten. At first I say five. Then two.
Why not zero? she asks.
It’s not in my genes to give up totally, I say.
She laughs because she knew my father.
What would raise it to a three - your energy level?
Not feeling bad all the time.
At the end of the session she says that during the whole hour I was most alive when I spoke about going away with my sisters to Portugal next week. That and talking about the boundaries I am drawing for myself about my husband and drinking alcohol.
She recommends bringing some lightness and laughter to our situation. Choosing it the way it is....not being a victim.
Sounds like a plan to dredge myself out of this creeping fear which sometimes overwhelms me like a dank mist.....
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