Why Worry When You Can Pray?

1st October 2012 Monday

9.45 am We are sitting in the Tribunal Office waiting room with our dear friend who is being a witness for us and the lovely CAB woman who is representing us. Our files and papers are spread on the table in front of us - going over final details. I’m feeling sick and jittery.

The clerk comes in and calls our CAB woman outside  ‘for a word’.

The word is ‘cancelled’.

The reason is a  death in the family of the doctor on the panel. 

So nothing to be done then - except go and have a coffee and a croissant in the sunshine.

This time my husband is tearful, more upset than I am. I’ve learned now that I don’t know the bigger picture of all this and probably another date and time would be better. More time to send in extracts of my blog as evidence of what it’s like at home - not just what the doctors’ letters say.....

Back home the pussy cat has peed on the dining room floor. The vet says it’s psychological - he’s stressed. Our lovely animal healer says he’s responding to my guilt and fear and panic about leaving him when we go to France and when I start looking after myself and bring some peacefulness and love back he will calm down. He has a snuffly nasal infection. So do I - I thought it was all those dairy products but now it’s a cold. Maybe I am the pussy cat or he is me....

Extreme illness brings everything up to be looked at.....but ‘why worry when you can pray?’  as someone said to me today. So that’s what I’ll be doing tonight.......

and keeping all the doors shut so I won’t come down to a lake of pee on the carpet in the morning.