Cold And Calories

26th October 2012 Friday

My neighbour rings the front door bell. She is returning a glass vase which I’d forgotten I’d lent her. I stand on the doorstep and she stands outside, the lavender bush floating its scent between us. It’s nearly dark, if you squeezed the air it would drip a stream of rain drops. We talk on and on and I don’t know why I don’t ask her in. When she goes I have to  boil a kettle and fill a hot water bottle to warm my blue and white hands.

This new cold is like an alarming visitor - you know it’s coming but are never quite ready for it. We had the bedroom decorated when we were in France - all those years of gold and yellow transformed into pale Fern Frosts - but still no curtains so it’s like sleeping in a echoey draughty fridge. I notice how I close down and somehow feel smaller when I’m trying to keep warm as if I’m giving the temperature some power over me - like fighting the air with a sword. Like being a victim.

In Sainsbury’s today I start looking at the food labels for calorie values. Next week we are planning a regime of includng two days of very low calorie eating -  500 for me and 600 for my husband and eating normally the rest of the time - fasting and feasting. We have been inspired by some of our friends who have had amazing results. 

Tonight as I throw away the 200g packet of salted cashews my husband has been snacking on I ask him to guess how many calories they have. A quarter of the packet is 300 calories - half his allowance for a whole day. He says he's getting the message.

I can see how much fun I’m going to have making courgettes and cucumbers and tomatoes taste delicious without their sprinkling of salted cashew nuts or drizzles of olive oil, although it’s hard to believe a clove of garlic is 60 calories. Which is probably why I gave up this kind of counting years ago.....