Home Again and a Great Aunty

24th October 2012 

This morning, while my husband is on  a train to London I plant up nine pots of birthday daffodils and tulips. A sweet Robin redbreast flits around the wheelbarrow, hoping to snaffle an earth worm - keeping me company in the moist autum air of the garden.

Another birthday treat  - lunch in a cosy cafe on the Quay with two dear friends who shower me with gifts and a warm apple frangipan tart and vanilla ice cream - the best I can remember...

The pussy cat pees on the welcome door mat in the hall when I come home after drinking from the running tap in the bath.....I have a feeling he may be getting worse....

My husband’s Tribunal tomorrow - woke feeling scared about it this morning but now I’m too tired to worry about it...and I’m so grateful to the dear friends who will be there to support us... 

And I’m happy to be home from France....picking up the threads of my life again....

One last blog from France - the day I became a great aunty again - exactly a week ago.

17th October 2012   Wednesday

She has arrived at last - in a far away country - in the Lebannon -  my new great niece -  like a perfect complete walnut  - whole and fresh, tender and sweet  - with  a beautiful Italian name....

My husband and I are walking in the narrow lanes up to an escarpment overlooking the little medieval village where we are staying in sight of the Dordogne, when I hear my mobile  ringing in my rucksack.....I know before I open it that it’s from my big sister -  texting the news that she is a grandma and mother and baby are well and safe....

I cry with happiness and we take the wrong turning in the road as we aren’t concentrating at all on the signs and have to turn back. I  don’t really take in the scenery or the views very much as I’m far away in Beirut imagining my niece and her husband and their baby girl and their lives changed forever.....

When we arrive back with aching feet, another text  pings in - this time from the cattery - our pussy cat is bad - his breathing worse ...... I ring my sister -  she will take him to the vet tomorrow......I want to go home now.....tired of this holiday bubble we are drawing round us....

Tonight my husband is sitting at the table writing his diary - asking me words, names of things, places we walked today, looking so vulnerable and tired and raw and lost, trying so hard......cracking open the hard walntut shell of my heart....